Do you carry suffering within you?
Do you feel that worries weighed you down? What size do you carry in your heart of sorrows? In this article, I will talk about those who live suffering and feed on it every day..and are confused about them, and spend a lot of time on a way to get out of it with ease..
In the beginning, let's talk about the suffering itself..what is it? How do we arise? Why does it continue with us for a long time, keeps us stuck from progress and success, and deprives us of living in the paradise of the world with all that we love and desire?
What is suffering?
Suffering, my friend, is every matter or concern that preoccupies your mind and heart..and makes you burdened to do anything..
It is every black cloud that erases all the beautiful moments and special events and makes us wrapped inside that cloud that we don't see anything but it..
It is our miserable view of life as unfair and unfair.
It is our view of ourselves that we are a victim of what happened to us and what will happen.
It's everything we lose to live in peace..
It is every need that a person needs that prevents him from earning the basic necessities of living.
And one of them may have another definition that is not similar to everything you mentioned.. It is not important that you adhere to what was mentioned, the important thing is that you alone know what suffering you are experiencing now.
One of the ways suffering arises:
Accumulation of problems:
As for our talk about how it is created or created by us, it begins and consists of the beginning of the first problem in our life and we do not know the mechanism of its solution.. Either we suppress it within us and ignore it..or we face it in an unconscious way and cause more problems that we need..
Hence, our thinking begins with a preoccupation and a high focus on the problem or event, then events follow us, accumulations continue within us, and suffering begins to appear on the surface. And we turn to the role of the victim, who has no power and no help, who is waiting for events to change and for people to behave well with him, and fortunate to look at him, then put everything that came to him to the hanger of fate and share!!
We were influenced by:
There is also another crack to generate suffering in you, which arises from the void or from being affected by the events surrounding you or from accompanying those who are negative in their lives and have affected you negatively, or even from the closest people to you, whether they are your family, relatives, friends or your partner..
When a person accompanies a person with a negative personality, a lot of discontent, and full of disturbing low thoughts for long hours, he will imitate most of his actions - if he has the weakest influence - and he will be imbued with many bad habits that will bring suffering to his life, and he will face many thoughts accompanying low feelings that make him see that his life is without It is useless and that his existence is meaningless and suffering begins to multiply around him and he looks at most of his surroundings with a dark look that makes him a negative thinker.
The Negative Person: One who looks for a problem in every opportunity (Definition of a Negative Person by Stephen Covey from The Seven Habits)
Therefore, our influence on those around us and the influence of those around us has a major role in instilling suffering in us, especially the influence of those we love or those we have a relationship with or those we babysit a lot.
But we cannot blame them or hold them accountable for what they planted of us... since we are the ones who chose that and decided that they should be the decision makers in that.
Also, we do not blame or hold ourselves accountable and enter into a cycle of so-called (self-flagellation), we are here to learn and realize what we were ignorant of..just accept that and you will learn how to choose who is the effective influence in your life, and has a deep impact on yourself..
The good friend with good morals..with wonderful, inspiring and creative ideas..with a positive outlook on life..who radiates optimism, good faith and high energy..sit with him as much as possible, and enjoy his company that you will not get bored of as long as he transmits to you the infection of positivity and love of life and inspires Your mind for everything that is useful to you and others.
There is a very common proverb in this context (Tell me who you sleep with, I tell you who you are).
So, your association with most people around you makes you a person very similar to them, and even if there are people who have a high shield in immunizing themselves by not affecting those around them and having strength in their control over themselves..but they will be affected unconsciously by a few undesirable qualities or character. This is because the human being has an unconscious mind and a conscious mind, and each of them is affected in his direct and indirect way on the human being. He is unconsciously mildly affected and does not cause him any trouble or internal negative sedimentation, and there are those who are affected moderately voluntarily from him that he allowed that influence to affect him and therefore the effect on him will be moderate between with and against what the other party does, and there are those who will be at the highest levels Affectiveness, as it will drift a huge drift under the control of the other party's feelings, thoughts and temperament. And all of your will.
So you are the only one who would be able to stop this effect and make it the lightest degree you may or may not reach..!
Why does suffering continue with us for so long?
But why does this suffering continue with us for a long time? And at the same time, it may not continue with other people and quickly get rid of it?
Well, the equation is very simple, as whoever allows the suffering to continue with him will continue, and whoever decides to end the suffering in his life and start anew, and understand the messages of events around him, here the suffering will actually end..
There are also beliefs that a person believes and tempts him with about his life, and they are one of the main drivers of his actions and building his thoughts around them, as if some believed that man was created to suffer..!..that the more pain in life the more God rewarded him..! The natural life is for a person to multiply worries and misfortunes so that he can taste the taste of
the afterlife, and that the world has no meaning for it..! And that we were created in a liver, pain and constant suffering..!
the afterlife, and that the world has no meaning for it..! And that we were created in a liver, pain and constant suffering..!
Another believes that man was created to be happy with his life with all the blessings that God has bestowed upon him and to enjoy that gift that God gave him, which is called (life).
And another believes that whoever has not tasted the paradise of this world will not taste the paradise of the hereafter..and that life in its essence is enjoyment and expansion with contemplation of all God’s gifts to us..(and if you thank you, I will increase you)
Another says that the more I thank the Almighty God for all the blessings that He has bestowed upon me, the more comfort, abundance, and abundance I have in all aspects of my life and taste the taste of life.
All of the above are beliefs that either hinder us from progress in life or elevate us and increase our understanding of what is going on around us, and you are a friend of the reader who chooses for himself what he wants to believe.
Because belief is the root of our suffering. When we are freed from our crippling beliefs, we will understand that even if there is suffering in our lives, our view of it and our dealing with it will certainly differ, and we will begin to form helpful beliefs that support the continuity of our good outlook on life.
How do I get rid of my suffering?
We mentioned that belief and changing it is a very strong and main factor in getting rid of suffering, as it constitutes a high percentage of controlling our suffering, interpreting things around us in different ways, different thinking and strong feelings.
We also mentioned that having someone to live with in our lives is very important in replacing our suffering with more acceptance, awareness and empowerment..
Focus on what you want, not what you don't want:
There is another beautiful and simple equation on this subject, which is the rule of focusing on what you want, not what you don't want.. How is that?
Many people bring suffering to their life because of their focus on what they don't want and ignoring what they really want..such as/ who suffers from poverty..received most of his focus on debts, want and need and how he will pay the rent..or pay someone his debt..or buy what he needs for his son.. Thus he remains in this circle (the circle of what he does not want), as he does not want debts, does not want to live with the feeling of need, does not want his son to grieve for not fulfilling his main desires..
So what does he really want?
He wants abundance, he wants wealth, he wants ample wealth, he wants financial security, and so on. Did he really make all of that purely his focus? his thinking? his feelings? Does he feel that wealth is knocking on his door, that abundance is growing around him, that he has a material surplus that he is comfortable dealing with?
Here we are not saying that it is easy and simple for someone who has a financial crisis and is thinking at the same time about financial abundance and abundance, and that this will not be achieved overnight.
But this rule largely means that everything you focus on increases and grows in your life, so the more you focus on the crisis and that financial suffering will increase it more in your life..
And the opposite is very true.. the more you focus on what you really want, the less your feelings of want become day after day.. and your financial situation begins to ease and expand.. because your focus is on what you really want, so you will actually reach it.
Another example is a person who suffers from many problems in his life, and is always looking for salvation and escape, and every place he goes to in order to calm down from what he is..
He often repeats (I am tired of problems in my life, I do not want them in my life, I do not want to lose people, I do not want to live in this tension..I am tired of it..etc.)
Here he focused high concentration with high feelings on (problems and fatigue) and thus will multiply around him and increase .. and he will feel a more painful feeling and he will be confused about the reason for their accumulation in this way, also the method of negation (what, no) increases the focus on what is not wanted, all Something we say, watching how much we use negation with it.. then we will realize that we direct our focus on (what we don't want),,
Well what if this person focused on what they really wanted, what would happen?
For example, he moved his focus to (I want comfort in my life instead of fatigue, I want calm and stability in my life instead of problems), we used here two things for this simple and deep rule:
remove negation (what, no)
Bringing the opposite of what we do not want for what we want (problems reversed by calm or stability), (debt is reversed by financial abundance), (fatigue is reversed by comfort)
And so, dear reader..Try this rule for a few weeks in your life or months..and tell us the change that will happen to you through it..
Meditation and breathing:
There are also ways that greatly help alleviate the suffering that you face and make you look at it in a different, conscious and wise way, which is your practice of meditation through deep breathing and calming the nerves in a quiet place that makes you relax and stop all your thoughts, by focusing on your breathing first and then on anything else that connects your thinking It is like meditating on God’s creatures, the Mighty and Majestic, and it is the first act of worship that the Messenger, may God bless him and grant him peace, practiced whenever the situation became difficult for him. The earth and the beauty of the great creatures on it, such as a wonderful tree with leaves and branches that fascinate its beholder, if you delve into the beauty of the creation of its creator.. and a lot of nature or anything made by the Creator makes you enter a state of silence and high calm, and rethink what happens to your life, as the Meditation will enter you into this state and charge your mind with a lot of calm and relaxation, provided that it is accompanied by deep breathing from the abdomen, such as ventricular breathing, which makes you breathe from the abdomen and not the lungs, as it is very deep and transports oxygen to the inside of your mind. If it is done from 3 to 5 times at the same moment, provided that each time withdraw 6 repetitions of inhalation inside the abdomen and release 6 repetitions of exhalation outside the mouth, and after practicing this breathing, it is recommended to practice it 3 times a day and you will find the huge difference in your calmness and response to any Suffering you may experience..
There are those who treat their suffering by what is called (escape from it).
There is a little right and a little wrong in this method..the mistake in it is that it is programming to the subconscious mind that it (escape) from the problem..but if a simple modification is made to it, as if it is addressing the person